I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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