I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
