I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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