I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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