my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
