I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
