erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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