I hate all girls vehemently.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
