You really coming over, don't trick.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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