her vagine was all disorganized.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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