Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
