Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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