Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
