it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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