i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
