Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize