There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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