Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
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