As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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