Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
