Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
