guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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