and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
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Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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