I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
