It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
