I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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