oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize