first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
