why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
