OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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