Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Panties = found
Randomize