meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
