I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
how does that bad decision feel?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize