it wasn't lemon gatorade
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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