when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
