I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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