The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
a search helicopter?!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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