erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
