True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
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I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?