and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast