i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize