O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
