she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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