return my video game
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
