I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
