people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
