Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
