I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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