how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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