apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
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