I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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