An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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