So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
