I wish my penis had an off switch
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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