my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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