She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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