Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
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he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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